7 Problems and Tips for On and Off Long Distance Relationships

Long Distance Relationship Problems

Being in a long-distance relationship is already hard as it is. Depending on your relationship, the distance between you two, and the reason you are apart (away for school, moved away to another state, etc.) it really depends on how often you see each other. For me personally, my long-distance boyfriend lived in a different country, so he and I would (if we were lucky) see each other every three months, but realistically it was three to six months. It was a difficult relationship to say the least. Long nights Skyping/talking on the phone, he would fall asleep mid-convo and I was like, okay, well then.. let me just hang up now.. I felt like I was in a relationship with my phone and computer, not with a real human.

This was just my personal experience; some relationships are stronger. Some see each other more often, and some are both equally involved in the relationship.

What’s important is the effort that’s put into it. Equally. If that’s the case, then there should not be much difficulty working through your issues together.

Here are 7 Problems and Tips for On and Off Long Distance Relationships:

1. Getting Too Comfortable

This one was the most frustrating for me. I was guilty for getting too comfortable, and feeling like the relationship wasn’t a top priority was frustrating. Getting too comfortable in a long-distance relationship is toxic, because that’s when you slowly start to drift. When it comes to a LDR, it’s important to keep things exciting and be excited about the love that you have in your life. Just because they aren’t there physically, doesn’t mean the connection you’ve always had is no longer there, it just means you have to approach this relationship differently

2. Stalling In Life

Being in a LDR can emotionally take a toll on you. You care about this person so much, and wish so badly that they could be there with you, everyday. You’ll even settle for one day a week, but the reality is that they’re not there. It’s vital to realize this, and continue living your life. You shouldn’t avoid going to events just because this person is not here, or because you wanted to Skype with them during that time. Of course, there are times that you must set aside to Skype/phone call, but I’m sure he doesn’t want you to stop your life for him. Honestly, men don’t like that, they like to see you happy and they don’t want you moping around because you miss them. By doing this, he’s not magically going to appear. Focus on you, and what you need to do, you can’t wait around and stop your life for this relationship.

3. When There is Nothing to Look Forward to

When will be the next time you’ll see each other? Until when will this relationship be long distance? These factors definitely matter, because at least in your mind you have a date, you can see it on the horizon, and this makes it easier to cope in your day-to-day life. When there are no plans to see each other, it feels like this distance is endless and you start to lose hope, whether you realize it or not.

4. Drifting Apart

Once you start drifting apart it’s hard to get things back to how they used to be. Unless you’re both actively trying to make things work. It’s very easy to drift apart with a long-distance relationship, that’s why balance is so important! Being too distant on either end can cause drifting, and being too clingy and needy can do the same. Mindfully try to prevent yourselves from drifting, but don’t put too much pressure on it. If you have a strong bond with this person, believe that it will work out.

5. Trust Issues

I think the distance alone causes insecurity in people, which leads to trust issues. Sometimes they are unnecessary trust issues, due to making up a bunch of crazy stories in your head (been there done that). Unless you have a valid reason to doubt your man, don’t lead your mind in that direction. Trust is the most important aspect of any relationship, but in a long-distance relationship, its huge! I’ve come to realize, when you make things up in your head, and accuse him of these false accusations, eventually it leads them to do exactly what you had said/thought. Not only is this law of attraction, but they feel that if you don’t trust them and you think they’re doing all these things, why not just do it then? So, if you have no reason not to trust him, don’t start making up stories to support your inner insecurities.

6. Miscommunication

We all know about the difficulty of clearly communicating with people via technology, it’s not the same as being face to face. A lot of long distance relationships are mainly through text (which is soo difficult!). We all have our daily lives, and can’t have a phone glued to our ear, or our face on a webcam all day; so communicating mainly via text should not be taken lightly. Try not to jump to conclusions when it comes to reading his texts or not hearing from him. Keep the texts light and flirty, and keep yourself busy! Long distance relationships where you’re texting all day, gets old, real quick.

Now, communicating via Skype/phone can also cause miscommunication, for reals! There’s something about body language and face-to-face communications that allows more clarity in what a person is saying. So, take that into consideration the next time you want to get mad for something small/irrelevant. Not being together physically makes it difficult for fights to be smoothed over and forgotten. You can’t just cuddle it up after and make everything better. This will help with your own sanity, the less fights/arguments over unnecessary things, the better.

7. Cheating

Sorry ladies, this one is a no-go for me. Been there done that! This never led to anything positive. My man cheated on me while we were long distance and even though we were on and off for a few years after that, I truly never got over it. In the back of my mind, for years, I still questioned/doubted him, I doubted myself/my worth, and it just overall caused me a lot of stress continuing a relationship with someone who cheated. So, if this is the case, I don’t recommend staying with this person. But if you decide to, just guard your heart and don’t jump back into the relationship quickly. Stay cautious.

I know long distance is tough, very tough. I always told myself I would never get involved in a LDR, but here we are, eight years of experience later, and all I can say was that it was transformative. Embrace this relationship, learn things about yourself along the way, and try to change bad habits and patterns that are toxic to the relationship. It can most definitely work if there is effort put in from both sides!

Loved this article? Let us know your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

Sending love to all you goddesses out there!

xoxo