9 Signs to Know If You Have Finally Moved On From Your On and Off Relationship

So you and your On and Off boyfriend have ended things, once again. But for some reason, this time you're feeling different. You cant explain it, but you feel that things are not going to go back to how they used to be. You feel that you no longer want to deal with the BS of breaking up, getting back together, and then arguing over the same things again. It gets old sista, and below I have listed a few signs that will help you determine if you are finally moving on.

* If you feel that you are still struggling with getting over your ex, have no fear! In my last article On and Off Relationship.. Always Breaking Up, How to Cope with the Final Breakup, I mentioned the book The Breakup Cure. It helped me get through a difficult on-and-off relationship heartbreak, that I experienced in the past. Its a very truthful book which allows you to do some self-reflection and realize your worth.

1. The Idea of Being Alone Doesn’t Scare You Anymore.

Let’s face it, it’s nice to always have someone there, your very best friend who knows all your silly quirks, the shoulder to cry on and comfort you. It’s nice, but it’s something you can live without. Being in the presence of just yourself, accepting YOUR own quirks, and going through the ups and downs of life, on your own.. it’s an empowering feeling. Know that it IS possible, and with that kind of mentality, why wouldn’t you attract the right man for you?

2. Your Fantasies of the Future Don’t Involve Them Anymore.

I’m sure you can go back to a time in your relationships when everything was rainbows and butterflies (*Cue in Maroon 5 - She will be Loved*) and you had a clear vision of your future with this man. A beautiful family in the perfect little home blablabla.. But now you see all the little red flags that were hiding in the cracks that you were ignoring, huh? If you’ve reached the point, where you no longer see this lovely picture you drew in your mind of your future with this dude, congratulations! You are moving on!

3. You’re No Longer Angry with Them for Past Wrongs.

It’s amazing now, to think back to the times when this person did something wrong (cheated, lied, abused etc.) and internally you felt so angry, like you could never forgive him and move on from these hurts that he caused. Over time though, you begin to release that weight, and accept that all things in life happen for a reason. Realize this baggage that he brought upon, is not something for you to hold on to. Personally, I feel that those wrongs will haunt some men for the rest of their lives, luckily that’s not your problem anymore! ;)

4. You Don’t Compare New Love Interests to Your Ex.

Once you start dating again (when you’re ready), you will be open to a vast variety of options. You’ll notice you won’t be comparing other men to your ex, you will just feel open to meeting someone new. Someone who will expand your horizons, and introduce you to new things in life. The only comparing you will be doing with your past relationship is, determine what it is that you do NOT want in a future partner.

5. You’ve Stopped Putting Yourself in Situations That Cater to Re-kindling Things.

Finally, this is the moment you have been waiting for .. no, really! On and off relationships are so difficult and emotionally exhausting. The highs are high and the lows are ultra-low, it’s the most overwhelming relationship I’ve ever been in. Sometimes, we need to realize when a person is not right for us. Even if they have a great resume, and from everyone else’s perspective seems like the perfect man, for you, he’s not. That’s something that takes time to realize, but if it’s not meant to be, then it’s not meant to be. If this is how you feel, then you’ll stop putting yourself in situations in hopes that things will be re-kindled.. yet again.

6. You Can Look at Your Relationship Objectively.

This is when you know you’ve really matured and grown from this breakup. You can stand back and say: “We were both wrong, and we were both wrong for each other.” No one is perfect, we all make mistakes, and it’s important to realize this. We meet people in this journey we call life, and we meet them for a reason, to teach us new things so we can grow and evolve on this spiritual journey that we’re on. It’s important to embrace the relationship as a stepping stone in your life, and accept that there is something better for you.

7. You Know What You Want and Deserve – and It’s Vastly Different Than What Your Ex-Partner Has to Offer.

This one is an internal awakening! Those negative red flags that you ignored in your past relationship, are now un-ignorable and you refuse to accept these flaws in your future partner. Knowing what you want, and DESERVE is a huge step and life changer; because with a new mindset and self-appreciation, you are bound to attract the man of your dreams!

8. You’ve stopped holding out hope that they will change.

Acceptance, it’s a form of growth. Once you accept this man for who he is, it will be so much easier to let go. You had a veil over your eyes throughout the entire relationship and its time you realize that he’s STILL the same person that you met back then. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, and that’s the truth.

9. You’ve lain the past to rest.

Release the old and engulf yourself with the newness of life that is headed your way. The past is in the past for a reason, its only there to teach you, so that you continue to grow. Once you have let it go, you will feel almost light-weight and free. Letting go is one of the hardest parts of a break up, but pairing this with acceptance will make it a lot easier. Remember, only good things can come from here!

Loved this article? Let us know your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

Sending love to all you goddesses out there!

xoxo